I don't know how many of you like Gospel music. I wrote this song as a song as a worship tune, something that I wanted to express to my Lord. Although you wouldn't know it from the title . . .
If you've got questions about the inspiration for this, I'll be glad to elaborate on that later. In the meantime, I'd love some feedback.
BETTER THAN VISA
V1 Can I envision You as You are? Above this broken world, Creator of the stars Can I believe You long even for me? Using every care You took to craft the sea
Pre-chorus When I finally stand in Your presence And I'm free from all the lies It's Your glory I want to surround me It's Your face I want to recognize
Chorus 1 You are all I want to see In the chaos encircling me You are everywhere I want to be My time and my space You hold close by Your grace You are all I want to see
V2 You control every aspect of time Knowing You gave Your life, that I should give You mine Is it enough that You carry me through Every pitch-black night to every morning view?
Pre-chorus When I finally stand in Your presence And I'm free from all the lies It's Your glory I want to surround me It's Your face I want to recognize
Chorus 2 You are all I want to see In the chaos encircling me You are everywhere I want to be My time and my space You hold close by Your grace You enable the weakest to stand With the miraculous touch of Your hand I could never look anywhere else To find a life in return for dying to myself And You are all I want to see
Lyrics and Music copyright 2006, Zach W. Lorton
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Take Care . God Bless . Rock On . Zach . The TuneHead
Yes, Jesus loves the hell out of me Yes, I mean that Literally He fought the Battle that I'll never win He threw open the Gates, and just let me in.
I thought I knew suffering, I thought I knew pain But he paid the price for all of my shame Cause the Price was so high, Nobody could pay With His Life, and his Blood ...- He Washed - it - Away Jesus Loves the Hell out of me He Captured my soul, and he set it Free He fought the Battle that I couldn't win He opened the Gates Wide - to welcome me in.
I do the wrongs - He set it right Therein Stands the Reason - Within Shines the Light The light that guides me, most of all when I stray. From the path I should follow along life's jagged way.
UNCONDITIONAL - Love, That's the Lesson I See So I must forgive you, Please forgive me. If Jesus can forgive us, How hard can that be ? We put Jesus through Hell. but He Still loves the hell out of you and me.
Yes - Jesus Loves the Hell out of me. What else could I do, but Love him back - Eternally? It's Not A Revelation, It's just Eternity. When God Loves the Hell out of Me.
( Since the very day I wrote this song, people have told me, " I can't say it like this ! " )
Yet I am Compelled to keep it exactly the way it was delivered to me, inspite of their resistance, I have been told these words are Blasphemy,...." I Disagree ! "
I know the words may be a bit strong handed. BUT !!! - I Believe they are honest and True.
Jeffrey Elliot Miller
(c) 1987 Saint Peter's Pearly Gates, and All The Angels Sing Music, Inc. Jushua & Jerico Publishing - BMI
zach, I'd say the lyrics need more concrete images. I would guess God might be perhaps beyond images we might be able to conjure up.
but if not, say God is the trees and the cockatoo's song and the my girlfriend's hand and a cold strawberry shake on a hot dusty desert night.
If God were those things I could identify with him/her/it better. But in your song I don't feel those concrete connections so I'm not totally drawn to what you have. As an exercise go through and ask yourself what each line's or stanza is trying to say but in images, not concepts or assertions (God is good). Try an image (God touched my cheeck with the spring breeze...).
I'm not trying to say you said 'God is good'. Just an example.
I see the direction you're going. I wasn't heading in that direction necessarily, and that's where the setup of the first line comes in . . .
"Can I envision You as You are?"
The descriptive aspects of God's character doesn't come from what I see Him in, such as the things you suggested, but in the things that I see He does. Since a person's actions usually define their character, this is the direction I chose to go. That being said, I left out concrete images deliberately and left the "visual" aspect of God a little ambiguous. People already have their preconceived notions of what God is like, so I explicitly tried to avoid images or metaphors of what God might look like.
The bridge leading into the chorus, and the chorus itself, focus on the fact that He is who I want to emulate, so I want to keep my eyes on Him. The central point of the song isn't who God is or what He's like, but the fact that He is who I should always have in mind as I go about my day to day. That's why I titled the song "Better Than Visa", because of the line "You are everywhere I want to be".
I really appreciate your feedback, Steve. I like some of your suggestions, and the next time I write a song of worship about the description of who God is, I may use some of those. Thanks!
