MY (almost) AWARD WINNING SONG

SharonO · Senior Member

MY (almost) AWARD WINNING SONG

Coffee Anon · Senior Member

You know, If you'd hired a demo singer you might've won.

Ronnie made me do it.

Ronnie · Senior Member

Sharon, he's lying, as usual (hehe)!

Jlamont · Veteran Member

hehehehehehehe........take that act one the road, I'll stage manage!!
Sharon, you're hot, i mean it! You do tell the best stories. I don't even listen to the song I just come straight here and read those great stories!!

-- Edited by Jlamont at 19:53, 2007-03-17

Jlamont · Veteran Member

what I mean to say is that I listen to the song and then I come here and read those great stories!

SharonO · Senior Member

Thanks, Joe! If I come up with a line or two that raise a grin, that makes my day - a grin, a chuckle, and some nice words like these make my whole week, and being as it's Monday around 6 am and I gotta get ready for work, I really appreciate that!

Coffee Anon · Senior Member

Sharon I think what Joe meant to say is that he'd listen to your songs if you would just come up off ten bucks and hire a demo singer. Demo singers need to eat too you know. Go on over to Disneyworld and get ya one.

SharonO · Senior Member

Coffee Anon, what I think is that you pathetically lurk around here looking for chances to nag/rag/bitch/moan about my singing - but then, in some strange inverse-ratio way, you seem to be generating good karma for me, since my gigs continually increase in frequency, scope of audience, and income, the more crap you dish out. So, woo-hoo! I’ve got a new one for ya - tear in! If you ever manage to produce another one, I’ll trrrryyyyyy to ………staaaaaay ……. awaaake …..through it …....maybe………zzzzzzzz
Have a good weekend out there in AW land !

Coffee Anon · Senior Member

You know Sharon, that might have been funny if you got someone else to write it for you.

I like the idea that you have some sort of comedy music show where your bad singing is part of the act. I could appreciate that. Your songs are often funny, and while they show an extremely limited musical scope they are entertaining anyway-ew!(Copying your use of that sort of line tag in most of your songs, in case you didn't get it)
I'm just suggesting they would work better for you in a competitive environment if you wouldn't sing them yourself, or if perhaps you could get some coaching or something. I just find you and your warbling very hard to take seriously.

Feel free to use my attacks in your press kit if you like. Here are a few you can quote me on:

"Best singer occupying that one square foot of real estate at this very moment"
"Fine country singing in the tradition of Helen Keller"
"Knows the difference between a 3/8 decent and a halfway decent studio pianist"

Here's my favourite:
"Loves AW so much she trashed it on Icomp"

Jlamont · Veteran Member

i think she's hot!! But I'm desperate!!

JL
DDATB

SharonO · Senior Member

CA said -
I'm just suggesting....
"just suggesting"?
You have dragged this subject all over the site for weeks - maybe months. This is not suggesting; it's obsessing.

To return the favor and provide you some solid promotional quotes in praise of your talents -
§       An accomplished songwriter with over....um.... of nearly....hmmm....well....at any rate: Has written *** A SONG *** !
§       Possesses such musical production expertise that he....well, that's a tough one, too...lemme dig a little deeper....
§       Makes regular use of his charter subscription for email updates to Songwriting Critiques for Dummies
§       Possesses such musical production expertise that he....hmmm......nope, still nothin'
§       Has autographed picture of Tom Waits - not out of admiration for Waits' songwriting accomplishments (which CA doesn't comprehend, since he doesn't like Waits' vocals); but because of Waits' benchmark portrayal, in a'90s Dracula remake, of Renfield, the ultimate wanna-be/ brown-noser/ flunky (icomp? THAT explains a lot - you are a sick pup).
§       Is proof positive that a little knowledge is not necessarily at all dangerous and can often even be amusing in its unabashed ignorance (though eventually, just gets boring)
§       Possesses such musical production expertise that he....okay, I gotta give him this - was able to pick out the piano teacher down the street's top second-grade student (the one who can play on some of the black keys) for the months-in-the-making production of his ***Song*** (though, sadly, didn't recognize the ludicrous and irreverent effect of the snake-oil/lounge-lizard vocal delivery applied to the subject matter)

Oh, and my favorite - Loves AW so much, he prefers being part of the problem, so he can have exclusive use of the site for practicing his sophomoric clichés and pathetic imitations of hip quips he's read somewhere, than part of the solution, which might lead to attracting members with something more meaningful to say.

-- Edited by SharonO at 12:56, 2007-04-10

Jack · Senior Member

:>>>... prefers being part of the problem:<<<

We have a problem....AND you know how to fix it? How insightful you must be. What a joy it must be to smell the air exhaled from yer cheez wiz encrusted breath. I dunno if you've looked around sister but this is as good as it gets:)

There will be no others, no one is coming to save you!!!!

If CA shuts his mouth...and if I shut my mouth...and if Joe and Ronnie and YOU shut yer collective mouths do you know what you will hear?

Prolly Couzin D wondering were everone iz, but THEN all you will hear is:

"ssssssssssssssssshshshshshshshhshshshshshshhshhshshshshs"

SILENCE!

No one is interested in these forums. When they do show interest it is only for self gain/promotion. Gimme, gimme, gimme is all these none playing under educated over infatuated fastfood eatin' nevermind good music, just loop and keep repeatin' folks is lookin for ANYWAY!

Now tell me who in the wide-world-of-sports could possible have something more meaningful to say then you and CA? Joe that's who! Something more meaningful is already here, but you wouldn't know a helpin' hand if it poped you on yer backside!!

Frankly I think you and CA live in the same house but do this "dance" just for "our" entertainment. How else would you know about Tom Waites...or the teacher thang;>

The JIG is UP BLONDIE!!! that is yer real hair right?

Ronnie · Senior Member

If I may, Sharon is here for her songs, and (by her own admission) not her voice/performance. Her songs are Standard-like, and may just endure (wish I could do words like that)!

Anyway, it's good to have something for Jack and CA to hop on (thanks Sharon), and THEY are the only fun in here ...

SharonO · Senior Member

ah, Jack's back - we've finally gotten the other head to rear.

I thanked Joe for his responses to my songs - it was very considerate of him to post something here actually about the SONG, which is the subject of the freakin' thread, and I said so. And, Ronnie, nice to see you pop-in, and thank you as well for trying to add some sanity to the "discussion."

cheez whiz ??? dude, I don't even want to consider where you may have pulled that one out of........

Of course it's my real hair. CHECK IT OUT - I have another internet radio appearance April 28 9am - 1pm www.wmeltv.com

Whatever happened to your sending me a cd of the last one.....?

-- Edited by SharonO at 09:39, 2007-04-15

Ronnie · Senior Member

Ya, and CA didn't buy Barb's album as he purported ... lotta hot air perhaps ... haha ...

SharonO · Senior Member

lotta hot air definitely - right out of a cheez whiz encrusted whatever....

Jack · Senior Member

"...I have another internet radio appearance April 28 9am...", I'm not gonna fall for that old trick again!!!

Coffee Anon · Senior Member

No, you're right RB, I had not bought it yet, but the order was placed a moment ago. Please tell Barb thank you for me, her music brings me a great deal of enjoyment.

Hi Sharon-
Glad I struck a nerve. Call me sick because I got curious about the Florida-wide legend in her own mind almost famous Sharon Osunas, googled ya because I was sure that Osunas must be Baltimoron for "turkey caller", and found you trashing AW on some kiss ass site called Icomp. Sorta set me off I guess. Sorry if I pointed out that you said some really not nice things about AW. If you wanna show your ass don't be mad when people look. I'm wagging mine right now. Stare if you like.

Me disliking your singing is nothing new. You keep singing the same way, I'll keep listening to your songs and then typing my honest opinion, which is, has been and will be that 1.)you need singing lessons or a hearing aid and 2.) you need to write a song with some shred of an original melody. Your lyrics are fine but you keep hanging them on the same skeleton over and over again. It's just dissappointing.

CA

Jack · Senior Member

I think I'm a gonna join the icomp army...ya know, just to see if POSSIBILTY THROUGH POSITIVITY really works.

I'm kidding, I'm gonna stay here and become a bigger 5 star loser, obviously I have not pushed the right buttons on you yahoos or we wouldn't have folks leavin' and bleedin' because someone would have ATE THIER ROTTING FLESH!!!!

-- Edited by Jack at 11:00, 2007-04-22

Ronnie · Senior Member

Some don't like Doug Mallory's slow vibrato, but that's HIS VOICE, and no one HAS to like it!

Jack · Senior Member

ain't a soul around that can hardly put up with my nasally off the note voice...wadoohicare right?

But this isn't about us, it's about ms O.
So tell us ms O, what do you think about Dougs voice?

>>>>WOWOWOW!!! 200th POSTING ALERT !!!WOWOWOW<<<<

-- Edited by Jack at 12:18, 2007-04-23

Ronnie · Senior Member

Well ain't you just the mouthiest thang!... haha

SharonO · Senior Member

Baltimoron -wow, CA, that's a real zinger, bet nobody ever thought of that clever word-play before; almost as original as that innovative, cutting-edge melody line in your...your......musical canon, your...your oeuvre....your (yes-by-god-you-did-it-you-finished-one!!!!) ****SONG****. And you seriously said something about "shred of an original" something or other...?

Oh, Blandly, you came and you practiced your faking
And you drove them away
Oh, Blandly, keep on ranting, there's no one to waken
In fact - no one stayed!

Gee, I can drive a subject into the ground, too.

Interesting - never googled myself before. Yup, lots of my little gigs and news snippets and song contest stuff, some I've mentioned here...and some publications I worked on several years ago...an autobiography site a U of MD student of mine from 1993 started...but no icomp reference, not even by the 12^th page where it's down to, like, a sprinkler company on Osuna Road somewhere in Nebraska - not that I care if it did show up, or if you bring it up here, or if whoever else for whatever bizarre reason cares to look it up; people express opinions on web site forums, get over it, especially after a year.

But, nope, I don't get an icomp hit for me from google, so gotta wonder....this is the second time a reference to something I said on icomp has come up here - the first was when, on icomp about a year ago, I mentioned a deranged-sounding song comment I got here, and the writer read it there, stalked me back here and left another deranged comment, ranting about what I had said on icomp. Now it just strikes me as really weird that the same basic scenario has come up AGAIN. Could there be TWO people - you and the commenter of a year ago -- bizarrely obsessed with things I've said in reference to AW on icomp - that's a pretty big coincidence...

Anyway, regardless of whether you have an extra-corporeal evil twin or you both live in the same cavernous cranium...you're still all teeth-gnashing / foot-stamping defensive about stuff I said a year ago??? Talk about striking a nerve - are you, what, like, a junior account exec to BC at the phone company place -- or, no, actually, the management consulting gig at UTEK looks like his current real-job - are you, like, watching your boss's back here at the hobby-site or grad-school marketing-project site or whatever this really is? Maybe he is, like, your mentor at work so you get to play site-Nazi for him here on the side. Wow, what a great Portfolio list on UTEKcorp.com. Not really music-related, but kinda relevant - like, Advanced Fertilizer Technologies - now THAT sounds like an account he would give you, rightfully confident you'd excel in the field; oh, and the company that does borehole casings (nose-sized, no doubt), that's a good fit for you, too.....

See, I got curious, too, about your AW paranoid-obsession and, since you prefer the "anon" thang (probably because the results of googling you would be truly, truly pathetic), googled your Idol here, since I figure you must be joined at the hip in some way...hey, if CA can google, I kin too. So have drawn the inference that just perhaps you're some sort of drone on his "Management Consulting" staff and he lets you play Music Critic Exec here as a little bonus, to feel important.

Aw heck, BC, you know how we all just needle each other a teeny little bit here, no harm meant; honestly, after all: "I mean no offense--I'll just assume you've got a thick skin if you can hang around here as long as you have!"

Jlamont · Veteran Member

Jewishly speaking! "There's love there I think"....

JL

Jack · Senior Member

aw hell yea! And I ain't even Jewish!

It's like watchin' the little girl bop the little boy in the arm because the little boy made a face at the little girl after she said something silly when he said "my daddy is smarter then yer daddy" right after she exclaimed "the easter bunny is for children."

Coffee Anon · Senior Member

Hi Sharon-
Nope, not in the telecom industry, hon. Never met BC. Not averse to it, but not really at the top of my to do list.

I just like pushing the button that makes the elevator move. The elevator seemed stuck for a few months, so I started poking around. Shaking the bee hive, seeing what flew out. You are an easy target because you fight back. It's only fun picking on somone who picks back. BTW, you're right, googling "Sharon Osunas" doesn't so much, which is surprising given your current Everglades World tour, but "Osuans+songwriter" Which is very odd combination I am the FIRST ONE TO ADMIT, reveals the Icomp legacy you seem so proud of. It's a stretch, I know, but there you have it.

Even more surprising is googling "Osunas+singer" which should return nothing, but also points one to Icomp.

I'm just mad I didn't find it first. Hey look, "Osunas +noise ordinance" got a few hits too...

Gotta go- Time for BC's coffee!

Ronnie · Senior Member

LOL - Hey, there's sit-com potential here - haha

SharonO · Senior Member

At least SPELL it right - O-S-U-N-A

What is with the extra S - if you bothered to google me, you could've bothered to check my profile HERE for the right spelling, DUH

It's all just a small exercise of the intellect...or would it be an exercise with small intellects....

Oh, Jack, you tried to deflect the, er, discussion toward something else. Doug's singing - to me is fine, never noticed anything bad about it. I find some of his songs more engaging than others....some I like a lot, some don't quite ...speak to me. Your vocals are fine to me, too.....message sometimes elusive.....

The clamoring crowds of the booming metropolis of Melbourne (FL that is, the other one is next month) call - and it's almost Saturday night

Peace and Love

Oh sorry, I meant to try to play nice A

Jlamont · Veteran Member

Time for a sing along....ok, I'll start....

I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd
I felt he found my letters, and read each one aloud
I prayed that he would finish, but he just kept right on.....

Jack · Senior Member

Oh teacher I need you like a little child
You got something in you to drive a schoolboy wild
You give me education in the lovesick blues
Help me get straight come out and say
Teacher I, teacher I, teacher I, Teacher I need you

-- Edited by Jack at 11:19, 2007-04-29