Howdy y'all!

I'm a newby here.
Working on a new song, thought I'd toss it out here at see what you think of the words.
Happy to have you tear it apart!
Give me that constructive criticizism to help me grow as a writer!



Killing Time

(Oh, Oh, killing time)

Back in the last millineum
I sang a young mans song
Didnt matter much to me
if I did right or wrong
All the time before me was
Forever waiting there
Young as lifes adventure
Wild, and free, and fair

With two cents in my pocket
And the clothes upon my back
I made my way toward Mexico
In a stolen Cadillac
As I crossed into Arkansas
met a girl with a pretty smile
said said like to stay with me
least, for a little while

Said the law was chasin her
Told what her daddy'd done
How she'd shot him down in cold blood
Then she showed me the gun
Stealin' cars was one thing
Murder another still
My how things get turned around
I felt a sudden chill

(Oh, Oh, killing time)

she spit three times over her shoulder
and she never looked back again
And one foot through the floorboard
put miles tween us and them
Took a left near Little Rock
And drove most of the night
Pulled off just bfore sunrise
The Mexican boarder just in sight

After twelve long hours of driving
I had to take some rest
She handed me the gun to keep
Said she thought it would be best
We laid out b'fore the sun rose
Her body next to mine
I drifted off in some odd dream
Watching movies in my mind

The sound of sirens woke me up
And I knew that she was gone
No sign of my Cadillac
But I was not alone
A local and two Smokies
And more on the way
With that pistol there beside me
There wasnt much to say

The trial was quick, and they say fair
The first is surely true,
So they locked me in a cell here
With some other worthless fools,
At night as I lay down to sleep
I see that young girls face.
She keeps me such good company,
As I rot here in this place

Killing time....

-- Edited by lanzdona at 20:51, 2007-06-26