Am I losing it? Im starting this post after a phone call I received from my buddy JT. He said he was cleaning carpets at some guys house and he heard some familiar music coming from the other room. He later asked the guy what it was and he told him Richard Ringer. He told my buddy how he loved the CD and listened to it and smoked out to it all the time. This was an old CD, he most likely got it right when I produced it, since he lives in the area (I remember just scattering those across our town when I recorded them, just giving a ton away to the unsuspecting public). JT told me it was funny because this wasnt the first time it happened, he had been at a party where it was playing and a bunch of teenage kids were tripping out to it. I really had no knowledge these things were happening, but apparently these kids still love that old CD. I say am I losing it because the songs on that CD were some of the first ones I ever uploaded to AW yeah, you remember those.
I used to make albums incredibly insane, I threw in whatever and focused on heavy experimentation. Right now I am focusing on my acoustic set I play live and the music I'm playing with my three piece band. Yes that does sound boring.
I really didnt think that any of those old songs were too far out there but then I listened to the CD for the first time in two years todayand I just dont sound the same whats happening to me? Am I losing it? And when I say am I losing it, I mean it in a bad way.
I took a look at new AW comments and old ones:
Old Comments:
1. I'd be embarrassed as hell to upload the garbage you do. What gives?
2. man grow up. You insult me with this garbage? buy some strings and tune whatever it is up...and get your head out of your butt.
3. Hey, I think I get it! You want the attention and we keep giving it to you. Way to go, you are definitely master of our migrane.
4. No conformity here,... unfortunatly no talent either!
5. Yeah, you know I love this one Richard. You are a genius. Like actually though... And that's why people can't quite handle your music... There is freedom, and true soul in your songs. Glistening produced rock/pop/emo/alternative has nothing on this. The music of today should sound more like this really... Anyway, keep it up man.
New Comments
Getting better all the time, RR.
You get better every day. I like alot.
holy cow - good song, RR, I made it through this one! You're getting there, getting onto something
You're getting better all the time, RR, you're finding a reasonable compromise from your highly experimental and too edgy for public consumption style.
That last one SHOOK. ME. UP (and no AW comment has ever really done that before) Im no longer too edgy for public consumption? Why does that bother me so much? I dont know, maybe because Im not a huge fan of the public. When someone liked my music two years ago it was such an intimate thing, they really had to get it, it was intimate because there was so many people that didnt. At AW I dont get many comments anymore. I remember on one old song I got 49 comments, my last one got 2. I go through alot of bouts where I just feel lost, like I have no idea what I'm doing, but at least I'm doing it...this is one of those bouts. So one simple question: Am I losing it?
Im no longer too edgy for public consumption? Why does that bother me so much? I dont know, maybe because Im not a huge fan of the public When someone liked my music two years ago it was such an intimate thing, they really had to get it, it was intimate because there was so many people that didnt. At AW I dont get many comments anymore. I remember on one old song I got 49 comments, my last one got 2. I go through alot of bouts where I just feel lost, like I have no idea what I'm doing, but at least I'm doing it...this is one of those bouts. So one simple question:
Am I losing it?
Tough question.
People who are involved in audio projects have a symbiotic relationship with people who listen to audio projects. As your school grows so does the maturation of the conceived audio direction. I don't think anyone had to "get it" when you began submitting songs here. The issue was your vision of your direction was not defined enough to instill the trust you need from your public. The trust to allow me to let you take me on your audio journey and have the reassurance that you will not drop me off downtown in a bad spot, late at night, with no way to return home.
As to getting comments...who does? It's a harvest full shrimp boat taking on water of massive amounts around here these days.
Take a break, enjoy it. These are the times you will think about when you finally stop losing it.
Richard - your musical impulses are going to take you where they take you; you can't consciously decide, I'm not gonna go THIS direction, I'm gonna go BACK that OTHER way I used to be. Won't work. Follow your instincts - if your music is changing, it's because "things" about you or for you or in you or around you or whatever are changing. You're probably absorbing a lot more influences, we all are, that's natural and constant, and it's all going to manifest in your music. I would think getting better comments is a good thing - don't sweat it; enjoy it, experiment endlessly. Trite but "it's all good".
If you get a chance, watch the movie that's on cable/satellite about the Ramones, The End of the Century. A GREAT 20-year+ bio of musicians trying to fight change to their very edgy and unique identity but endlessly hopeful of achieving mainstream success and respect. Oil and water, usually, edgy-unique and widely successful......
